Love.
I can live it just fine, but I fail to communicate what I feel and experience into words. When I do attempt it, it comes across as clinical, like a timeline of events. Truth be told, when it comes to writing romance, I try my best to avoid it.
I had thought that if I read more romance novels, I’d have a better grasp on the concept. However what I found in my research into the genre, left me frustrated and figured I should explain the reasons why so that you can avoid making the same mistakes.
First, I will start with mentioning that these are very formulaic. Average woman who is unhappy in her life meets a man who brings colour into her world. They have several Hallmark moments, causing them to fall in love but they can’t be together for some reason. By the end, whatever the reason preventing our lover’s union disappears and they get back together, even if the end of the book leaves you wondering if that’s really the best option.
I understand that familiarity is calming. That knowing what is about to happen from beginning to end is comforting in an unpredictable world. But love and romance don’t work like that. If you read one of these, expecting your love life to mirror this, you’ll be disappointed.
Why is this? Because the characters in this barely know each other. These aren’t the books that take place over a long period of time, with a slow burn for our heroes to prove they know each other and are compatible life companions. These are the ones that take place over a holiday, a build up to an event, or a diet club. There is an end date to their story, and you begin knowing when that will be.
In order to combat this, the writer stuffs in as many meet-cutes as possible. The shorter the time period, the more ridiculous it gets. For example, on Monday the heroine arrives. She falls in mud and is rescued by our hero. On Tuesday she decides to go to the local town, but her car breaks down. Hero appears and takes her in, where they explore it together. On Wednesday, there is a power cut. Hero appears and fixes it, revealing he used to be an electrician before his fiancé cheated on him/died/left him for his brother. On Thursday they confess their love and spend the night together.
I’m not saying that no-one has found true love this way. But how can two people know each other in three days. Please do not respond that they know each other’s soul. They aren’t Jane and Rochester, they aren’t even Bella and Edward.
My final issue is with the characters. Without fail, our heroine will be an average looking woman with poor self-esteem but primed for a make-over. She will be us, the reader of the novel. She has few friends, but the ones she has will love her unconditionally and constantly try to get her to leave her shell. Our heroine will enjoy reading, food and little else. Unless it’s a book about sports, she will hate them and be very clumsy. Unless the book revolves around her high-pressure career, she will be in a job that is beneath her.
Our hero will be a man from a different world, be he a famous actor who no-one understands or a hulked-out farmer who no-one understands. His primary function is to be the heroine’s rescuer and tutor. He will always be ‘above’ her in some way other than being attractive, as that is a given. He will teach her about the joys of life and encourage her to go after the career she really wants and be the person she really wants to be. Because she has now met him, that’s all possible.
Do you see the problem here? The damsel and the knight have been a thing since stories were first told, but surely we women are capable of rescuing ourselves now? Imagine everything being within your grasp, but you are unable to achieve it until someone comes along and tells you to do it. I don’t know about you, but that would do nothing for my self-esteem.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that if you’re reading these books as an escape, hoping that a white knight will appear and fix the problems in your life. Don’t. Because if someone appears to fix all your problems, then he is weird and certainly controlling. Worse, if he can solve all your problems, then there is no stopping you from doing the same.
Chic-flick lovers, rescue yourselves.